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Memoirs of Smoke

I can’t write

right now
not about you at least
not ever maybe
about you
the least
safe to say never

it’s 3.41AM
and I need a new you

someone to write for
someone to right me
someone right
to write right
this night is not right
it’s fading already

I’m on a leash
and It’s raining outside
one of the many cliches
of this sleepless morning
the leash is blurred
leash being the memories

rain falls
falling leaves
leaves me mesmerized
small drops of rain
as well as the ripe mangoes
ganging up on the roof

maybe it’s closing up
the hole in which
I lost myself in
and crawled right back out
maybe I’m becoming whole again

the carved out heart
the renewed cigarette smoke
forgetful lies of lives
songs on repeat
blank spaces on the faded walls
abrupt silence follows

it’s 4.31AM
and I need a muse.

© 2016 Pamuditha Zen Anjana

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Neo – journey

I’m on a highway
Naw, not of hell
But somewhere close by
Plus its more wonderful
More than hell
That is

I’m looking through
Tinted glass
Long roads winding through
The hulking mountains
Strong winds on my face
On second thought
I think it’s coming from the AC
On the bus

Long and wide
Forever kind of landscapes
Rolling on both sides
Blue skies and tree lines
A nature’s spell
Enchanted

Free as a Bird, a bee
Or a man that can fly
Not with wings
But with a red cape
The super kind
Wink face

Of course I’m on a bus
Where else would l be
And so, I’m flying
Far away from the rubble
Of a crowded city life
Away from the rotting place
That we call our homes

Life is moving fast
100mph
Now that’s not that fast
You might retort
But it is actually
It’s as fast as a bus
Speeding through the highway

Did I tell you that
we are on a bus?
Ah yes, I forgot
I got two or three
Friends with me
Don’t tag me on that
Video in which
I’m also in bro
Lol

Post.

© Pamuditha Zen Anjana 2015

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Two Years Later

I thank the light for darkness
’cause darkness alone was the light,
that guides me towards my ultimatum,
the gift that bound me to these goals,
the core that got thrown away in a hassle…

as if I’m gonna stop believing in us
and if I did,
like it really affects the notion of “us”,
two ultimately different souls,
submerged into one entity

we were supposed to be a paradise
together, woven and intertwined into
this almost surreal forever kind of reality
in which, he
was not a part of, and you broke me,
with those miscalculated promises…

as if I’m gonna blame it on you alone
and if I did,
like it really leaves a mark on you
or in this case on me, or like it’s just gonna
bring you running back to me, into my arms

Honestly, today I’m missing you more
more than those most days,
when you invade my dreams,
then suddenly
leave me breathless, sense-dispersed
in the first breath’s glance, into the light,

as if I’m gonna burn away your memories
and if I did,
like it really would take you away
away from me, off from my inner eye,
pages torn, and lanes erased in a blink of an eye

yet, these harshly sweet images of you
starts to suffocate my senses,
but m’ love I do love them,
not you,
not anymore!
but I love those blurry images of you,
they are closer to me than you ever were…

but you never left me, did you?
I ask you whenever I see you, and you,
you just smile and blink as if
you saw the Sun for the first time ever,
and you say “No!”

and I count so many “you” s in above lines,
yet there’s no you, where it really matters…

© 2013 Pamuditha Zen Anjana

2

Memories

All of a sudden,
Heaven fell down on me
and when you spoke
I felt content, and my heart,
it skipped beats
literally…

Slowly,
the whole world faded
and faces became just blurs
the time froze in its tracks
and you stepped closer
closer than my own shadow

Arrived the butterflies
as your fragrance lingered
and mesmerized me
I inhaled you once
and I got devoted…

My love for you is the Earth
it’s the blue sky, and
the universe put together
It’s unwavering, unequivocal
and incontestable…

So, my dear memory collector;
I’ll hold on to these until I die
precious and treasured
invaluable and cherished
and worth far more than my life…

© 2012 Pamuditha Zen Anjana