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Just Words

You
was the word
You was the word I used to write before me

You
used to be the road I used to take
Used to do a lot of things
Things that made sense

Not now, just then
Just then you took me and departed
Took me apart

You
A simple mistake
A mistake that I’d make again
Make amends
Mend a man
Glue him together if you will
Will allows not
Not because heart is lost
Lost is the soul, nope
No love

Soul searching
Searching through deserted lands I walk
Walking through memory lanes
Lanes emptied and barren was the heart
Heart says yes
Yes, through dense cigarette smoke
Smoke, through mosquito lullabies

In between
Between those forgotten lines and lies
Lies a man who lies alone
A lonely traveller once lost and found
Founded the love, unrequited
Quite a sight!
Site full of lost lives and love
Love, not a mere memory
A memory in shining armor

And,

You was
You are
You is
still the word I run towards
When I run out of words.

© 2017 Pamuditha Zen Anjana

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Closing Curtains

I’m picturing a past state
another road to my lost fate
add another nail to the coffin
it’s my last date

Heart races
through the blurry faces
Mind spaces out
through those lost pages

So I, loved you
Outlived you
Tried blending in
Ended up bending back
Bleeding and clutching
The misguided heart

And I, used to trim my chances
re-imagine my own dreams
after all I was MIA
in the Suns golden rays

Then I, hated you
Outwitted you
After you ripped me
part by part
Beautifully apart

Yet I, tried to keep it all in
even went out of my way
to direct a hollow life
just like a well scripted lie

But they say it’s not right
to fight in days like these
plus the stage is closed
and its no man’s land again…

© 2014 Pamuditha Zen Anjana

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Two Years Later

I thank the light for darkness
’cause darkness alone was the light,
that guides me towards my ultimatum,
the gift that bound me to these goals,
the core that got thrown away in a hassle…

as if I’m gonna stop believing in us
and if I did,
like it really affects the notion of “us”,
two ultimately different souls,
submerged into one entity

we were supposed to be a paradise
together, woven and intertwined into
this almost surreal forever kind of reality
in which, he
was not a part of, and you broke me,
with those miscalculated promises…

as if I’m gonna blame it on you alone
and if I did,
like it really leaves a mark on you
or in this case on me, or like it’s just gonna
bring you running back to me, into my arms

Honestly, today I’m missing you more
more than those most days,
when you invade my dreams,
then suddenly
leave me breathless, sense-dispersed
in the first breath’s glance, into the light,

as if I’m gonna burn away your memories
and if I did,
like it really would take you away
away from me, off from my inner eye,
pages torn, and lanes erased in a blink of an eye

yet, these harshly sweet images of you
starts to suffocate my senses,
but m’ love I do love them,
not you,
not anymore!
but I love those blurry images of you,
they are closer to me than you ever were…

but you never left me, did you?
I ask you whenever I see you, and you,
you just smile and blink as if
you saw the Sun for the first time ever,
and you say “No!”

and I count so many “you” s in above lines,
yet there’s no you, where it really matters…

© 2013 Pamuditha Zen Anjana

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Reflections

I turned back time
tip toed upon the water
just to get a closer look
a glimpse of my old self

every mirror I’ve known
in bitter pieces, broken

I thought I easily could
steal the reflections
from moving waters
but sadly, I failed

Turning back time again
though, on a different note

I’d rather lose myself entirely
than breaking apart, whilst
trying to prove myself
in the eyes of the forsaken

So, now I’m stepping under the Sun
searching for my very own shadow

© 2013 Pamuditha Zen Anjana

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Godspeed

With a hollow heart
I followed you to the moon
and back
with a flash
riding an enchanting comet
plummeting down towards the Earth

It’s a hundred clichés
turned into one small message
a thousand thoughts
rolled on to one gloomy passage

But I loved you..

That much I did know
unless my heart lied to you
which
it doesn’t do
never did, never will
sad case scenario, you knew it

So here I am, tied in a crossword
a road of memories
lost and entangled on my own
dreams, and fears
a puzzle of insecurities
lost in numerous entities

But then again, I loved you..

With ashes of the past
I passed the thin layer of doubt
and hit
rock bottom
all hopes and notions lost
I went down under for a long time

Now, I’m back again
On my feet, with some remedies
rising with leftover dignity
from the ashes of the past
standing firm, standing solo
this is farewell my love…!

© 2013 Pamuditha Zen Anjana

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Seconds Away

Here’s to the times being unfair
to the spontaneous choices that one makes
as for you only live once… not twice
here’s to those wise words they said once…

“Do make sure that each and every single moment counts!”

Troubled minds never saw no bright future
only doubled their troubles and lost in a bubble
only those who never wished were granted their wishes
yes, doesn’t make sense… But if it did, it’ll all be too easy,

won’t it..?

Let the soft breeze dance with the strands of your hair
Dear one… Let there be light in your eyes, forever
catch and hold on to those smiles before they fade away
and fail not to see through the pretexts of those wild souls

Lay your Trust in me!

Here’s to the idiots with Big Dreams
trying to reach out for the utterly unreachable
always looking for change in the making, thus
here’s to the memories they preserved

“So again, my dear memory collector,
he’ll hold on to those until he dies!”

© 2012 Pamuditha Zen Anjana