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Kill the Society!

I’ll gladly watch this world burn up in flames and turn to dust.
I’ll gladly see myself heat up, liquidize, then evaporate.

I’d gladly watch the rising mushroom clouds than turn away.
I’d hardly look to live another day, any other way.

I’d love a war between the worlds.
world against another,
worlds against each other, a world war.

Yet, I’d yearn to see the gloom the day after.
And, I’d learn to feel all over again, come under.

I’m content, guessed right, contempt.
emptied, like this mind of torment.
ordained with
like the right for dormant

Amen, may men see the light
in the right light
right before my evil ordain.

So then, I may find the right night in the might
of the very moments that light bright rite, right?
no, let’s write right, as they say
there’s no right right, right?

The world dies, I go after.
The time flies, I’m no faster.
I’m a master, of a disguised altar.
Come what may, I’m no saint, Hell-crafter.

Pseudo, ultimately is a good bastard.
Assume he’s the last, can’t muster.

Ey yo mister, give me a jagermeister!
For all I know, it could be the last cannister.

I’ve dotted the eyes and crossed the tease.
I’ve dotted the ends and divided the middles.
I’ve blotted the eyes and crossed the tease.
I’ve blotted the ends and divided them from the middle.

It’s the last day, judgment’s on the way.
gone are the grudges, budget’s due today.

Shoes seem too tight? Leave them be.
For all ’tis too right mostly for me.

© 2017 Pamuditha Zen Anjana

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Memoirs of Smoke

I can’t write

right now
not about you at least
not ever maybe
about you
the least
safe to say never

it’s 3.41AM
and I need a new you

someone to write for
someone to right me
someone right
to write right
this night is not right
it’s fading already

I’m on a leash
and It’s raining outside
one of the many cliches
of this sleepless morning
the leash is blurred
leash being the memories

rain falls
falling leaves
leaves me mesmerized
small drops of rain
as well as the ripe mangoes
ganging up on the roof

maybe it’s closing up
the hole in which
I lost myself in
and crawled right back out
maybe I’m becoming whole again

the carved out heart
the renewed cigarette smoke
forgetful lies of lives
songs on repeat
blank spaces on the faded walls
abrupt silence follows

it’s 4.31AM
and I need a muse.

© 2016 Pamuditha Zen Anjana

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Rant

Well

The silence is deafening
Licensed to feed the need
Hyphen these favorites
Try on the reject’s mind of sin

Rising within
Is the siphoned murmuring
Hybrid settings
Wallowing in one’s right for self

Stuttering feelings can be a bitch
Buffering thoughts will be the dicks
When you seek the ecstasy within
One finds sanctuary inside the bricked

Dumb sheeple Running around in circles
Surrounds the sound of church bells
Vomiting the pride pay toll
Hark! They turn to misfits

Forsaken minds
Terrible doctrines
Valued customers
Its a vicious cycle

Never ending
And forever winding
Yet, I’m unyielding
A philanthropic misanthropist

Try these words
If they fit the need
Figure the rest
Or else feed the beast

#endrant

© Pamuditha Zen Anjana 2016

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Closing Curtains

I’m picturing a past state
another road to my lost fate
add another nail to the coffin
it’s my last date

Heart races
through the blurry faces
Mind spaces out
through those lost pages

So I, loved you
Outlived you
Tried blending in
Ended up bending back
Bleeding and clutching
The misguided heart

And I, used to trim my chances
re-imagine my own dreams
after all I was MIA
in the Suns golden rays

Then I, hated you
Outwitted you
After you ripped me
part by part
Beautifully apart

Yet I, tried to keep it all in
even went out of my way
to direct a hollow life
just like a well scripted lie

But they say it’s not right
to fight in days like these
plus the stage is closed
and its no man’s land again…

© 2014 Pamuditha Zen Anjana

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Other Side

I walked when
the morning star glanced at me
through the weaves of trees
and when the mornings became noon
and when it was hard to bear the light

I walked even when
the way forward seemed
utterly impossible
even when things seemed to be
falling apart right in front of my eyes

I kept walking
counting each breath
for the miles I’ve passed
tripping on the countless
paths I’ve crossed

I kept walking
even when you told me
that I’ll never be able to

I kept on walking
even when the world told me
“you’ll never ever make it!”

So, as I walked
on these lonely roads
through the wallowing dark
that swallowed hope

on came the silence
to take away my words
on came the pain
to take away my memories
on came a lot of things
to sink their teeth into my brain

Oh but, still I’m walking
towards what I need the most
towards that place where
the grass is greener and
the skies are bluer
towards where it’s safe to breath…

© 2014 Pamuditha Zen Anjana

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Two Years Later

I thank the light for darkness
’cause darkness alone was the light,
that guides me towards my ultimatum,
the gift that bound me to these goals,
the core that got thrown away in a hassle…

as if I’m gonna stop believing in us
and if I did,
like it really affects the notion of “us”,
two ultimately different souls,
submerged into one entity

we were supposed to be a paradise
together, woven and intertwined into
this almost surreal forever kind of reality
in which, he
was not a part of, and you broke me,
with those miscalculated promises…

as if I’m gonna blame it on you alone
and if I did,
like it really leaves a mark on you
or in this case on me, or like it’s just gonna
bring you running back to me, into my arms

Honestly, today I’m missing you more
more than those most days,
when you invade my dreams,
then suddenly
leave me breathless, sense-dispersed
in the first breath’s glance, into the light,

as if I’m gonna burn away your memories
and if I did,
like it really would take you away
away from me, off from my inner eye,
pages torn, and lanes erased in a blink of an eye

yet, these harshly sweet images of you
starts to suffocate my senses,
but m’ love I do love them,
not you,
not anymore!
but I love those blurry images of you,
they are closer to me than you ever were…

but you never left me, did you?
I ask you whenever I see you, and you,
you just smile and blink as if
you saw the Sun for the first time ever,
and you say “No!”

and I count so many “you” s in above lines,
yet there’s no you, where it really matters…

© 2013 Pamuditha Zen Anjana

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Fight The Machine

I’ve been tripped, tricked into falling
trapped even, running a fool’s errand
Every dark corner of this earth
I’ve traced, and yet
found nothing

Feels like I can’t make any sense
in here, it’s dark and damp
Not much of sightseeing,
not your kind of heaven
far from it, to be frank

Been floating a while
back before I was born
had no choice, it was here
or else worse, hell
Goddamn it! Fate you!

Maybe I was too bright to begin with
I mean, too darn optimistic
and oh, let’s not forget hope
shall we?

Bright as the bubble that gives you light
at night, every single night, overhead
Things used to be simple
subtle even, well not anymore
are they?

Maniacs with thinking disorders
that’s what we are, the romantics
No, really! Think about it!
Our kind has to try so hard
that on the way, we lose ourselves

Has to look all over again
Turn the world upside down even
By the time you pull yourself together
you’ve lost the romance part
Well that and a few other things
like time, faith and ability of letting go

It’s a darn circle, that’s what it is!
Or a triangle, if I may
But whatever it is, it’s got to go
‘cause it’s about time
You dream the real,
Not the other way around!

© 2013 Pamuditha Zen Anjana