Two Years Later

I thank the light for darkness
’cause darkness alone was the light,
that guides me towards my ultimatum,
the gift that bound me to these goals,
the core that got thrown away in a hassle…

as if I’m gonna stop believing in us
and if I did,
like it really affects the notion of “us”,
two ultimately different souls,
submerged into one entity

we were supposed to be a paradise
together, woven and intertwined into
this almost surreal forever kind of reality
in which, he
was not a part of, and you broke me,
with those miscalculated promises…

as if I’m gonna blame it on you alone
and if I did,
like it really leaves a mark on you
or in this case on me, or like it’s just gonna
bring you running back to me, into my arms

Honestly, today I’m missing you more
more than those most days,
when you invade my dreams,
then suddenly
leave me breathless, sense-dispersed
in the first breath’s glance, into the light,

as if I’m gonna burn away your memories
and if I did,
like it really would take you away
away from me, off from my inner eye,
pages torn, and lanes erased in a blink of an eye

yet, these harshly sweet images of you
starts to suffocate my senses,
but m’ love I do love them,
not you,
not anymore!
but I love those blurry images of you,
they are closer to me than you ever were…

but you never left me, did you?
I ask you whenever I see you, and you,
you just smile and blink as if
you saw the Sun for the first time ever,
and you say “No!”

and I count so many “you” s in above lines,
yet there’s no you, where it really matters…

© 2013 Pamuditha Zen Anjana

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